Clinical and detached - she grasped hold of it, cloaked herself in it, she'd done it before every time she was hurt

(in the escape pod oh god oh god gary)

just a physical reality, far moved from her. It was all there, not unraveling but touchable, the call and response, like a Pavlovian dog but that's not it not all

Helen?

a solid core of love based on a series of commands, no rhyme or reason just a desire to make her hurt and it's bled into her memories, causing her to re-write them to make it fit because it had to fit.